Ugggghhh.

It’s one thing to be inundated with rainy, overcast days for five months of the year. It’s quite another to be dropped back into the middle of it after spending a week in one of the most beautiful corners of the world. I’m not coping well.

 

Monday

Hit work early, then got picked up by a friend ’round 1pm and driven to the airport. Savvy as I am I always ask for a free upgrade to an exit row, and six times out of ten they do. Sure enough, I snagged one. Only to be called back ten minutes later to be asked to surrender that seat to a family so they could travel together. At least I got moved from a center seat to an aisle seat.

Several chapters of Artemis and a couple episodes of Community later, and I was walking off the plane into ridiculously humid weather on Big Island, Hawaii.

Collected my bags and called for a pick-up. I’d be staying with my friend Kyle’s sister Kim and her family in Hilo (pronounced hee-loh), with her four young boys aged 4, 6, 8, and 9. She works from home in the economic development industry, and her husband attends pharmacy school. He was studying for a big exam most of our stay, but he found time to take us on some adventures.

In short order Kim pulled up with Kyle, Tiffany, and Ashleigh. Kyle had been in Hawaii for a week prior, and Tiffany and Ashleigh had arrived only about six hours before I had. They’d spent the day on the beach and shopping at Costco before swinging by to grab me.

The airport was in Kona, on the west side of the island. Kim’s family lived in Hilo, on the opposite side. It was about an hour and a half drive across “the Saddle”. We stopped on the way to get out of the car and do some stargazing.

On the road, Kim explained the rules of the house. It was a pre-WWII home, devoid of any insulation or air conditioning; the conditions inside the house would be exactly what it was like out-doors. It was important not to throw any food in the garbage bins; there’s no garbage service on the island, and therefore trash tends to stick around a while until it’s ready for hauling away. Food in the garbage will attract cockroaches and other undesirables, so a mini compost bin is always handy in the kitchen for putting organic left-overs in, which gets tossed outdoors every night for the chickens to feed on.

Oh yeah, the house is on the corner of a large agricultural area. There’s wild pigs and chickens just out back, which Sean – Kim’s husband – hunts with a bow & arrow. We ate one of them for a couple of meals while in town – first the ribs, then the pork.

We were also warned, after settling in, that there wasn’t any need to fear if we felt the whole house shaking. That was simply the washing machine finding the resonant frequency of the structure.

Oh and did I mention cockroaches? They’re pretty pervasive little buggers. Luckily we didn’t see any of the big or flying ones. But they’re basically camped out in all corners of the house, and the car. Can’t leave food out anywhere, or they’ll be all over it in no time.

But honestly, the cockroaches I saw were pretty tiny. I think it’s just a branding problem they have; no wonder they’re abhorred with “roach” in their name. They just need another one – “Hawaiian Lady Bug” or something.

As far as sleeping arrangements went, there were four rooms in the house: master bedroom, the four boys’ room, Kyle’s room, and one for Tiffany+Ashleigh, leaving me in a cot in the main room that I’d be stowing away each morning after getting woken up by the kids cavorting around. It was all good fun though, and honestly I was woken up sooner by the cold and/or sunlight than the kids.

As close quarters as everything was, it’s important to note that with electricity, running water, and decent Internet, this place was in the top ~30% of living conditions on the island. Over the next week we’d wander into some places that lived far more primitively.

Sean and Kim have a lot of friends in the pharmacy program, who end up graduating and moving off-island, and who need a quick way to offload their vehicles. Several times now Sean and Kim have been sold vehicles at a super nice deal, who then turn around and sell at their leisure. In the meantime though, they have like five vehicles on their lot. We’d be using a couple of them, depending on the size of our group at the time.

Oh and the best part? Sean and Kim’s family name? Janeway. I asked and no, they’re not, but the question does help them immediately identify those who ask as Trekkies.

 

Tuesday

After getting ourselves ready for the day we headed out to a beach for some snorkeling. First time I’ve ever gone. Steve, once when we were kids we were playing in a pool by Gram’s place in California with Dad, who was teaching us to snorkel. Just for fun I covered your breathing tube with my hand. I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize until now just now traumatizing it is to have your snorkeling tube stop up.

Took a while to get the hang of things, but my gosh it was incredible, though I’m told we didn’t get the very best experience Hawaii has to offer. Next time I guess.

After snorkeling we wandered off in search of sea turtles. Didn’t find any, though a couple of us who stuck around longer than the rest did catch a glimpse. I elected to head back to the beach, open a chair under some shade, and read a book for a while. I juggled between that and IMing with Mattie, tutoring her on template functions and iterators. What an awesome day so far.

Left from there to Cafe 100, a non-chain restaurant. They apparently originated the “Loco Moco”, some dish made of rice, a meat patty, an egg, and some gravy. Can’t recall exactly what I ordered but it wasn’t that.

Off to a Japanese garden, followed by Coconut Island for some more sight-seeing and reading. Coconut Island is an island like a pond is a lake – you could power walk around the circumference in three or four minutes.

Rainbow Falls! It was remarkable seeing what the waterfall had done to the rocks surrounding it over the years.

Tons of rocks to clamber over behind the falls, and some amazing greenery as well. These trees seem to drop down vines, which – once they hit the forest floor – form a surprisingly rigid column. Over enough time these vines can entirely enclose the original tree, making for some excellent climbing surfaces. I didn’t get a good picture, but Kyle and I came across a ~15-foot-high wall that we could only climb due to these vines.

Onwards to Boiling Pots, an area higher on the river that feeds into Rainbow Falls. Back in the day it looked like a series of pots overflowing with boiling water, but erosion’s destroyed a few of the pot enclosures.

Back home for some roasted pig ribs. After that we played Scum and watched Hot Rod after I mentioned I’d never seen it.

 

Wednesday

We were having a lazy morning, when Kim said that Sean was bored out of his skull studying at school and needed a distraction, and would we mind coming to Narnia with him.

Narnia’s the name a few of the locals gave to this watering hole, though the term hardly does the place justice. You won’t find it on any maps or tour guides.

After about an hour’s walk in along a dirt/forest road, picking guava fruit from trees along the way, we were greeted by the most amazing sight. (Click to expand, it’s worth the pixels)

Cliff jumping, natural water slides, waterfalls to climb behind, this place had it all.

Afterwards we hit up a cafe called Lika Lehua for some grub.

Kyle stuck around at home, while I left with Tiffany and Ashleigh for some sight-seeing at a crater overlook, a lava tube, and a volcano caldera.

 

Thursday

Ashleigh’s family happened to arrive in Hawaii that day, and she wanted to spend Friday with them. So our job was to get her to Kona in the afternoon. We took the long way, looping down along the south end of the island.

First stop: Punalu’u Black Sand Beach. Spotted some sea turtles lazing about.

Next up: Punalu’u Bake Shop, proudly proclaiming themselves to be the southern-most bakery in the United States.

The big attraction of the day was South Point, the southern-most point in the United States. Featuring a 30-foot cliff that people jump off of, and a rickety ladder they climb back up with.

I was gearing up to jump after Kyle did his run, but the weather was turning a bit too choppy, and I had no desire to turn into a statistic, so I played it safe. Though while the others flew a kite (that the wind was too strong for, as it turns out) I did manage to make my way down the southern-most point of South Point, much closer to the water, and get splashed on, so that counts.

Side-note: It’s kind of ridiculous how many people died during our stay, doing the very things we were. “Oh you’re headed to South Point? Be careful, that one guy got washed away three days ago.” “You were at Boiling Pots? You know someone died a couple weeks ago there, flash flood.” “Watch out for rain at the lava flows, it reacts with the gases to form sulfuric acid, last week someone breathed too much and died after being life-flighted out.”

In other parts of the world the government might step in and enforce safe practices with railings or what have you, but here they just put up a few signs and let the chips fall where they may.

Anyways. From South Point we looped north and stopped by Two-Step, a snorkeling place that gets its name because of the natural rock formation that looks an awful lot like two steps and is groovy for getting in and out of the water with snorkeling gear on.

Unfortunately the high winds followed us, and the water was too rough for good snorkeling. So after chilling a bit we continued on up to Kona, where we met Ashleigh’s folks at a farmer’s market.

After making the drop we wandered around the market, then grabbed dinner at an expensive tourist-y place near a resort. Totally worth it.

Afterwards we watched the sunset. Even spotted some dolphins playing!

After sun set we toured the area, stopping in on a fine art gallery.

I left Kyle and Tiffany to more wandering while I took a mini-nap in a field. An hour or so later we all met up and drove the Saddle back home, stopping again for some stargazing.

I’ll note here that Big Island is all about that stargazing. They have some mighty impressive telescopes up on Mauna Kea, the high point of the island. There’s even an ordinance that requires all street lights to be yellow-tinted, to keep from casting up too much light pollution.

 

Friday

Kim brought her youngest, and a neighbor’s daughter she was babysitting, along with us to Onomea Bay, featuring a nice walk through a rain forest, a lookout point, and a trail blazed by wild donkeys. The trail in cut through the middle of a botanical garden. Like the family in We Built a Farm, years ago a couple purchased the lot of land, not knowing what was on it. They explored it and kept discovering waterfalls and various species of flora once thought extinct. They built it up as a botanical garden, then gifted it to the state at their passing.

Along the way we passed through a mini beach with wide overhanging trees and coconuts lying around. I had no choice but to tell the group to go on ahead while I pitched a chair, whacked open a coconut on a rock, and read my book.

After making it back to the car, we stopped off for lunch at Low’s Corner Store for some lunch, and to make friends with the local cat.

At the lookout Kyle had chatted up this fisherman (who had the most amazing mustache by the way) and learned about Hakalau Park, the site of an abandoned sugar factory wiped out by a tsunami like thirty years ago.

On the way back to the house we stopped by and got shaved ice, a must in Hawaii.

We swapped cars for a bigger one for fitting luggage, then headed across the Saddle back to the Kona airport. Eric, another mutual friend, was joining us that day, and Ashleigh got dropped off by her folks while we were waiting.

After the pick-up we all drove to the temple. Tiffany and Ashleigh went in to do some initiatories, while us guys walked around the temple grounds.

Eventually got bored and went to Costco. All the adventuring I’d done so far in water had either been in flip-flops or Keens, neither of which are super ideal. So I grabbed some water shoes, which made a load of difference.

We picked the girls up from the temple and headed off to L&L Hawaiian BBQ for some grub, then back across the Saddle for home.

 

Saturday

In the morning we packed in and headed off to the Farmer’s Market in Hilo. During parking, though, we got a flat tire. We all pitched in to help swap the spare in, then Kyle and I took it to a tire shop to get new tires, since they were super worn anyways.

After some more walking around at the market, it was off to Narnia again. Eric had never been, and I’d forgotten my drone the first time, which was a crime it was so pretty.

I got the shots I wanted, and the others got their water time in. Kyle opted to stay behind with his nephews, while Eric, Tiffany, Ashleigh, and I went up to Mauna Kea, the highest point on any of the Hawaiian islands. We had to drive up through some cloud cover, which was super creepy.

There was a visitor station stop on the way, where we were required to stay for at least half an hour to acclimatize to the elevation. It wasn’t just a suggestion, I could feel the elevation sickness and headache for a good while.

Anyone who wants to drive further is required to have four-wheel drive on their vehicles. Anything less and you’re liable to stall out on the way up or burn out your brakes on the way down the 15% grade.

The top of the mountain features tons of observatories, since the elevation and lack of atmospheric turbulence makes for ideal conditions. Unfortunately we wouldn’t be going to the top today, as 60-80 mph winds forced them to close the road up. However, there was a hill not too far off that loads of people were all over, so up we went.

There were a couple drones in the air, same model as mine. Suuuuuper annoying, getting in people’s shots and making an annoying buzzing noise. The operators were asked nicely to bring them down by other visitors, but had trouble doing so; I was tempted to step in and help out, but not sure how to do that tactfully. Anyways, they eventually brought them down, and the place hushed to a quiet during the sunset. A round of applause went off when it was over.

After some more shots of the evening sky we headed down to the visitor center, where they were putting on a free telescope show.

If the fog was creepy on the way up, it was downright dangerous on the way down, visibility down to like 20 feet.

 

Sunday

We got off to an early start to catch a sunrise at a popular surfing beach. Some had even camped out overnight to catch the first waves.

 

A German pancake breakfast awaited us back at the house. Afterwards it was off to Akaka Falls. Ashleigh had visited it on her day with her folks and it was good enough for a second time around.

We also revisited Rainbow Falls so Eric could see it and climb around in the massive trees.

A quick lunch at the house, and then we changed and headed off to the singles branch. The Sunday School lesson was by an electrical engineer who could hardly contain his excitement over how quantum physics lined up with our understanding of the Creation. We also got treated to a stereotypical marriage lecture by a new high councilman. I don’t think I appreciated how good I’ve had it in my wards, where the leaders seem to understand how to talk about marriage without coming off as out of touch. Like, listen, I think it’s more than just being scared or not understanding the doctrine.

Oh well. Afterwards we headed back to the house for the rest of that pig, served as “kalua pork”. Then we settled in for a lazy evening of watching the Olympics.

 

Monday

To quote About Time:

“Right, are we ready for this?”
“‘Course we’re not. Hateful day.”

For three of us this would be our last day in Hawaii. We made sure it was a jam-packed one though.

First up, lava flows. The hike in is loooong, and if you don’t do it at night you can’t make out the flows in the distance. So you either hike in while the sun’s setting, or before it rises. The latter is preferable, much less people around. So our last day started at 3:45am. Arrived at 4:20-ish. Sean knows a local who lives about as close as you can get, and just asks that people leave $20 in his mailbox in order to park at his place. This cuts off like half an hour of hiking down a dirt road.

Side-note: pretty sure the houses in this area are all completely uninsurable, since there’s a very high chance that they’ll just burn up one day if the lava does something weird.

So off we went, across an alien landscape in pitch black. Took us about two hours to cross, though it didn’t feel like it. I passed the time by running one of my D&D-lite scenarios, ended up helping Captain Planet save the island with the assistance of a giant turtle and eagle.

Finally we arrived.

 

I went up as close as I could to the flows. Might have not gone as far, but there was a guide climbing around with a camera, who told me where it was safe to step. She comes up to the flows near every day. Told me it’s important to keep moving, and not stand in one spot for very long. Sure enough I reached down and felt the soles of my shoes, and they were quite soft from the heat. It was crazy, I was stepping over areas where you can look down and see glowing rock deep within crevices. It was like a furnace to the face, standing that close.

At one point I picked up my coat from the ground, forgetting that I’d set my phone down on it. The phone fell into a ~1.5 foot deep crevice; luckily it wasn’t glowing or anything, and I was able to fish the phone out. However it now sported a nice crack along the top of the front face. At first it looked neat and stayed out of the way of anything on the screen, but the crack’s since extended right through to the opposite corner. Gee dang. At least I can say with a straight face, “Oh this crack, yeah I got it when I dropped my phone into a volcano.”

On the way back it was daylight and we could see gasses escaping from beneath the surface. Those were the things that we’d been warned to steer clear of, in case of sudden rain. (Incidentally, it was also this stuff that offed Avatar Roku.)

Without a glowing hillside to guide us on the way back we weren’t sure we were heading in the right direction. Luckily I realized I had my drone with me, so up it went, and gave us a good view of the road we were aiming for. Of course, we didn’t notice until we got back that there was a prominent “No Drones” sign leading in. Oops.

On Thursday we looped around the southern end of the island; today was gonna be a loop up north. First stop: Waipio, an amazing lookout and beach.

There was another steep ~15% grade drive down from the lookout to the beach. On the way we picked up a couple who were just looking for a hitchhike down the hill. He was a native of Maui, and she was a globe-trotter who runs the lifebefore30 blog. They were both pretty hippy. We parted ways when we headed off to the beach for some body boarding and they went up to see a waterfall. Down in the gully it was evident that there was a thriving yet rather primitive community.

The area was full of conifers, a biome very unlike other areas we’d seen. (In fact, we’d heard that Big Island had representative samples of every single biome except arctic.) We saw tiny graveyards along the drive, but didn’t catch any good pictures of any.

Lunch was at Tex’s, a local joint. Then it was off to Hawi (“hah-vee”), the northern-most point of the island. We spotted whales breaching in the distance, and collected hermit crabs from some tide pools.

On the way in to Kona we stopped off to get some more shaved ice.

My flight ended up getting delayed, so we dropped Tiffany and Ashleigh off at the airport, then us guys went off to grab some dinner at another L&L BBQ.

Got dropped off for my flight, and slowly but surely the lines and security checkpoints served to drain the vacation spirit out of me, it was sad.

Lesson: never select or accept a window seat in an exit row. Woke up four hours into the flight, and my arm and shoulder were ice cold. The hull must conduct heat a lot better there due to the door embedded in the hull.

It was really something, going from a 75-degree evening in Kona to a 30-degree morning in Tacoma. And I’d worn my shorts too. Caught a train+bus to the office, where I’d left my car. Then saw no reason to leave, and got right back to work. Albeit with a nice nap in the middle of the day. Used the on-site laundry machines to clean the clothes I hadn’t been able to run through before packing.

If it weren’t for the pictures and the continued conversation on the group chat, it’d be easy to forget it ever happened.

Something occurred to me on the trip, a parallel from About Time. (Minor spoiler alert.) The final lesson Tim learns from his father is that he should live each day once through, and then again, taking notice of how sweet the world can be.

I suffer from a problem I’m pretty sure is quite common, in that when I’m on vacation I often spend too much time looking for amazing camera angles and shots. Some of that was out of a sense of duty, though – with the best camera of the group, I felt an onus on me to capture the sights as best I could. But there came times where I had to take in each moment twice: once for the pic, and again just to breathe it all in. Those moments of reflection will probably fade from memory in short order, but I think on balance they were worth it.