Week Tres

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No, the building’s not on fire, it’s just a reflection.

We’re flirting with Fall over here. On Monday I biked in under a dense cover of fog, and started humming the Hobbit theme to myself. Later on in the week it started raining, hard. Which is a bummer for me since I so love to bike to work, and the rain will soon be a permanent fixture of the forecast. How does the rhyme go? ‘tember showers are such downers?

There are employees that will bike to work year-round, who just wear rain coats and gloves to keep themselves from freezing. Not quite ready to put my bike through that kind of punishment – the dusty bike trail is doing enough of a number on the gears, without the moisture’s help. We’ll see how good I can be at using the stationary bikes on the regular.

A big project of last week was getting the TV wall-mounted and all the cables concealed using plastic… concealer-thingies. You know, these things. I had picked up an inexpensive stud finder before heading out (thanks Dad!) and it was time to put it to work. That is, until it decided to go all non-deterministic on me. One minute it swears up and down that the stud is here, and then the next it insists it’s over there, three inches over. I was concerned because neither of those locations matched the common 16″-between-studs rule. I chalked it up to being above a fire-place in an older building, but in any case I needed an accurate reading before I could drill.

I ended up relying on advanced statistical analysis to determine the stud’s true position (read: moving the stud finder repeatedly over the area until it’d gone off enough for me to just do a majority vote). And… well my TV hasn’t fallen off the wall yet, so I guess I got it!

(Oh, funny anecdote – you’ve really gotta be careful when you say you’re “wasted”, I guess it can be taken the wrong way when you’re not in Utah. Long story, details not important, but a less-active member who called me up part-way through my installation job thought I’d just claimed I was incredibly drunk.)

Work is just more of the same really, consuming technical documentation ad infinitum. It’s like getting lost on TV Tropes, every document has links to five more documents I should read. I’m slowly but surely making a dent in my reading list. In the meantime, I’m getting in on technical meetings, and it’s fun, I think to myself, Wow, I actually understand like 80% of what they’re disagreeing over!

Oh, I had an old lab-mate over for lunch last week. He was in the area interviewing for a full-time position. He’d done an internship at Google HQ over the summer, while I’d been working in the lab on finishing up my thesis. I took him on a quick office tour, and became sorta glad I’d not done an internship in Mountain View like he had. See, my week of orientation had been kind of like visiting Disneyland. But imagine if you had lived in Disneyland for three months, then someone took you on a tour of Lagoon. You probably wouldn’t be that impressed. So I’m glad I can appreciate the workplace here – ignorance in this case is bliss.

(Another funny anecdote. This one really makes me respect the men and women in blue [gloves], who protect our airways with such vigilance. On my way to and from orientation week, I’d opted out of the full-body scan, and gotten a pat-down by a TSA agent, who also went over my luggage. On the return flight, my backpack was even flagged by the X-ray machine technician, so it got an even more thorough going-over. The agent opened it up, rifled through it, found a ton of coins I’d left in, and waved it through, stating it must’ve just been a false alarm due to the coins.

Well, after being back in Kirkland for a few days, I decided to clean out my backpack, and found out that had the agent looked just a teensy bit harder, he would’ve found one of Grandpa’s old pocket knives that I’d totally forgot was in there. Oops. Anyways, like I said, this really made me respect the TSA, such hard-working folk.)

Oh, what the heck, this post’s mostly just gonna be anecdotes. At some point in my second week at work, I noticed that the monitor opposite from me still had a sticker on the back, the kind you peel off the moment you get set up. I looked around, and nearly every monitor in the room still had its sticker. Shocking. I peeked around, and mine still had it as well. Not for much longer, of course. Still resisting the urge to walk around and collect everyone’s monitor-stickers. If they couldn’t be bothered to find it, they don’t get the privilege of peeling it off.

On Thursday I went to Institute. It was a pretty small turn-out, by Provo standards anyways. Interesting moment came when, at some point in the lesson, a guy named Hayden asked a question to the teacher, named Shauna. Eyebrow was raised.

I’ve been having troubles due to my addressing mistake I mentioned in my first week, thinking my address was the one for my complex’s leasing office. A few things have failed to arrive, including a package from my folks, which they’ve re-sent using my real one and hopefully it arrives soon. But what did arrive this week was my first real-life credit card. I signed up when I became a Costco member, figured I’d take advantage of some of those cash-back bonuses. It’s weird, using it. I’ve only ever used my bank’s debit card, which works as a credit card and pulls money straight out of my account. Now there’s this huge “buffer” where I’m spending money that’s not really mine. I know it’ll automatically get pulled out of my account at the end of every month, but in the interrim it still feels weird. I hear it does help build good credit, though.

On Saturday I headed down to the DMV to get my Washington state driver’s licence. This wasn’t me acclimating to the move, this was me wanting to stay on the right side of the law. I’m most of the way through a 30-day countdown before I need to have gotten a state license. They’re strict like that, I guess.

What’s neato is, you can get a special license that sorta doubles as a passport, at least when you re-enter the country by land or sea. Such an enhancement costs extra, but definitely makes sense when you just want to head up to Vancouver for the day.

I’ll have to let you all know later how the special license looks, though, since they were closed for the holiday weekend. Ah well, I was out anyways, figured I’d head off to the library to get a card. The libraries in King County (where Kirkland is) are all part of the same “network”, offering one unified service to residents.

Which sounds nice and all, but not if I can’t find the one book I really want to read right now, The Worthing Saga by Orson Scott Card. Not one of their forty-nine locations carries that book. Compare that sorry state of things to back home, where the Orem, Provo, BYU, and UofU libraries all carry a copy of the book. Now, it might have something to do with the fact that the book’s author is a pretty prolific Mormon.

Also, the libray system here does have it, but it’s in one of those new-fangled “electronic book” formats, and I’m kind of old-school with books. Hmm, I’m heading back at the end of this month, if I can finish my current book before then, I might be able to check out The Worthing Saga from BYU (where I’m technically still a current student), then get it back to them over the Christmas break. Hmmmmm.

After I got my library card, I chilled out in the library for a bit, just surfing around, then headed out to check out the nearby pier. I spied a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses witnessing at a table set up just outside the library. Don’t miss running into them in Australia one bit.

On the way to the pier I saw a) a pug puppy that couldn’t have been longer than 10 inches, and 2) a shop that 3D-scans you and then prints and paints a model of you. I saw other things, but those were the two most interesting ones.

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Neato auto-book-sorter-system
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Chillaxing at the lake

On Sunday I met with my counterpart for my calling, who is not long for this world. This week she heads out to go start her final year at BYU-Idaho. I just wanted to get a brain dump of how she’d been running things, so I wouldn’t immediately reveal myself to be incompetent.

In Sacrament meeting I got sustained, along with others, including someone who’d moved in the same time as me, and who has a similar skillset. (He’s working in cybersecurity at Microsoft. I tried to get him as a roommate, but Kirkland was a bit far from his company’s HQ.) Anyways, his calling was Sunday School instructor. Well, let me tell ya, if I could trade callings with him, I definitely would not. Last time someone was inspired to have me teach a lesson in church was in 2012, and I think they learned their lesson. I do like teaching, but Sunday School / Elders Quorum isn’t the best place I guess, it just didn’t go very well at all. Wait, I think I’ve said too much – yes, I’m a very accomplished teacher, I wouldn’t learn a thing from having that calling, no way no how.

After Elders Quorum was over, I noticed that we did not kneel for the closing prayer. Not like that surprised me, it was a very unique tradition we had in my last ward. Which was a fun one, not because kneeling in itself was fun or anything, but because I kind of doubt there’s more than two or three people left in that ward that remember when the tradition was put in place. And I’ll bet they’ll continue to do it for years. Who wants to be the one to say, Hey everyone, I know it’s super spiritual how we all kneel for the closing prayer, but let’s just stop doing that.

After church I prepped for conferencing in for my cousin McCall’s wedding shower. All the cousins were there, it was so fun to say hi to everyone. I hear there’s talk of having Cousin Palooza 2017 up here in May, so stoked.

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I was prepared. I wanted to be able to look at people in the eye and have them see me looking straight at the camera.

That night was a game night at a member’s house. She lives with her parents, and has lots of room for activities. There, I met someone who seems to be this ward’s “Cynthia”. A Cynthia, so-named from an old friend in a past ward, is a mover and shaker, someone who knows how to get things done to make an activity happen. One thing led to another, and I’m now a founding member of the Ascent Film Society Facebook group (named after my apartment complex) and our first viewing is this Friday. Woohoo.

After the game night, a group headed over to Seattle to a Catholic cathedral, where monks would sing Gregorian chant every Sunday night. It was open to the public, and inside were people – whoever couldn’t fit in the pews – sprawled out all over the floor, on picnic blankets and makeshift pillows. A very neat experience.

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We got back, then had game night part 2. Finally got back to bed by 1:30am. Which wasn’t ideal, since I had been planning my own first activity, a nearby hike to Wallace Falls. Got a couple members to go with, who were childhood best friends, which was fun. (With each other, not me, I didn’t know a soul before heading up.) And, one of them invited their family to come with, which was fun.

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Very large stump. Hikers for scale.

After the hike, we decided to continue on for an hour or so and head to Leavenworth, a fun little German town in the middle of the mountains. It’s very touristy, like a larger version of Grand Lake. All I can say is, authentic Bavarian bratwursts are unglaublich lecker.

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Pretty sure it’s written into the legal code here, you have to use this font for all your signage.

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Caught the tail-end of a local arts exhibit thing. There was also a polka festival, which we missed by an hour.

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Ye Olde Bratwurst Shoppe
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Lookit, the tables have gas-fired rock beds!

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I know we had something like this waaay back when.

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Got back in time for the tail end of ward FHE, which was a fitness class. Not that we needed it of course. Afterwards was volleyball. Someone was playing music, out of their phone’s tiny speakers. I ended up volunteering my aux-to-RCA adapter cable and got the music playing out of the building’s sound system. And that, kids, is why you should always carry an aux-to-RCA adapter cable. Not even joking, it’s so handy. Closely followed in handiness by an HDMI cable, with whatever adapter’s necessary for plugging in your laptop.

Today I biked in, since the forecast looked pretty clear. Worked, ate dinner, browsed a bit, then realized it was 7:45pm and I still had a long bike ride ahead. You know how, when you’re a kid, you stay out way late playing games, till Mom calls you in, and then you get in and wonder how in the world you were playing in that pitch darkness? It was sort of the reverse for me. Oh man, how am I gonna bike back in this? Totally gonna get mauled by a bear. … Eh, actually it isn’t that bad, plenty of light left. … Actually, nevermind, I’m totally gonna get mauled by a bear. Or a vampire for that matter, Forks is only like four hours away. Aw man, I’m totally the guy that gets taken out in the first five minutes of every horror movie.

Well, I’m back, and the take-away is to go get a dang set of bike lights. And start adhering to the horror movie survival guide.

To sign off, your friendly neighborhood pyro wants to demonstrate why it is never ever a good idea to pour gasoline directly onto a lit fire. Stay safe, everyone. Light responsibly.

Week Deux

It was dark on my way back from campus on Saturday, but I was able to spot three or four rabbits hopping off the trail on my way back. Nifty. Speaking of biking, I forgot to mention, but it was weird hopping on my own bike again, after spending the previous week on gBikes, the seats of which were never adjusted to my height. “Woah, are my legs supposed to be almost straight like this? Oh yeah, those other bikes were just weird.”

Also ran into things much more plentiful than rabbits and much less fun – the itty bitty bugs that like to hang out near slow-moving creeks. Gonna have to make sure not to ride through there too late at night.

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A neato water feature on Google campus.

So while my modem arrived on Monday, I couldn’t actually get it since it was being held in my apartment’s leasing office, which closes at 6pm. I’d have to find some day to grab it before work, or just be sure to be back by then. This turned out not to be the limiting factor, however, since Comcast had to send me some materials / info to get me activated, which was arriving by mail. (Seriously?) I could have gone in to the Xfinity store to get all that done, but I wanted to limit my contact with them as much as possible, and with my modem held captive anyways, it wouldn’t have made a difference.

In the meantime, I discovered that now that I was a paying Comcast customer, I had access to all these ‘xfinitywifi’ networks you see at random places. These networks are broadcast by Comcast-owned routers, and logged-in Comcast customers can leech off other customers’ networks, although the bandwidth is limited. Regardless, I now had wifi in my apartment and could stop using 4G data!

Let me rewind a bit. Last time I wrote, it was Saturday evening. The next day was my first day at my new ward. Church starts at 1pm. Other family wards meet at the building, and I guess they get first dibs on good meeting times. Overall it was like a miniature version of a Provo YSA ward. During the announcements, the first counselor lamented that the “exodus” was coming up. You know how BYU ward attendance balloons during the school year, then drops off during summer? Well their membership influx comes from wards like this.

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EQ/RS meets during second hour instead of third. We all fit in the chapel, in the choir seats. For the third hour, the ward did their monthly ‘mix-n-mingle’, which partially supplanted Sunday School. They’d set out a number of round tables with chairs, and everyone just congregated around different tables. At each table there was a teacher, who gave a short 8-10 minute lesson, after which we all lined up for food and then chatted at our tables during lunch/dinner.

Afterwards, I’d heard of a few others planning on going to a nearby fireside. I figured I’d tag along, and I ended up arranging to meet them part-way there and driving them the rest of the way. One was a non-member, and I’d actually arranged with her to have her check out my place and Skype me in back when I was looking for housing. The other was a recent (~10 month) convert. She’s planning on getting her endowments soon, and then thinking about going on a mission. The fireside turned out to be a missionary activity. Most/all of the mission was gathered there, and they constituted the choir and provided a few speakers, along with some other recent converts. There seemed to be a group of missionaries using ASL, and one of them “spoke” with the help of his interpreter-companion. Neat experience.

That night, like every night this week, I returned to an empty apartment. I thought, while gearing up for this transition, that I’d go mad living by myself. I guess that stemmed from my experience in my prior apartments, where my “bubble of self-ownership” was constrained to take up a quarter of the living space, and it was hard to imagine myself living alone in those apartments. But in this place, which is smaller than those past apartments, I find it’s not as weird being all by myself. I could go on like this and probably not suffer any permanent mental instability. However, this solitude is costing me dearly every month in rent, so I’ll continue to search for a roommate.

On Monday I started work at my permanent office. The campus is pretty darn slick, lots of little nooks and crannies to explore. There’s two cafes, with a third opening up early next year. The cafes are closed for dinner on Thursday and Friday, which is nice – it’s like, ‘get outta here, go have a life’.

My new manager is great. He subscribes to the ‘get-yer-hands-dirty’ school of onboarding. I could keep myself busy for months doing code labs and getting up to speed on how development is done at Google, but he feels that my rate of acclimatization will increase if I’m doing actual work. And not just on projects that are well underway, he wants me on nascent initiatives, so I can really be part of the project’s progress.

Regardless, my first week was mainly reading. There were a ton of resources thrown at us during orientation week, and I’m slowly working my way through the list, along with other documents related to my current team’s work. That work, by the way, involves securing us against compromise by lone agents within Google. The goal is that, without collusion, no one rogue employee could mess with the goings-on of Google’s infrastructure. This helps us secure our own stuff, as well as that of customers of our Cloud products.

Oh, and speaking of reading, man I’m getting a ton of emails. I’m used to getting maybe six a day, with over half of those automated. Now it’s six every half hour or so, lots of stuff going on that trigger lots of emails to lots of people. Still working out a system for managing the volume.

On my first day, there was a tour of the facilities, and the one conducting the tour remarked off-hand that Google tries it’s darndest to get employees to work really hard, but it doesn’t do so through underhanded tactics; it just gives incentives. Come to work early / stay late? Have breakfast / dinner. That sort of thing. It also tries to keep employees healthy; all the desks here are the motorized kind, that can raise and lower. So I’ve taken to converting to a standing desk now and then. I might try and continue to raise the percentage of time I’m standing, to ease into it. The first few days it was certainly straining.

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An event put on during the latter half of work on Thursday. They didn’t allow families, so attendance was pretty sparse.

I continued to check my mailbox for anything from Comcast. Every night, no dice. All I found in there was junk mail, which I am mystified by. Do they really make so much profit off junk ads that they can afford to print unseemly amounts of it and pay people to walk around neighborhoods filling mailboxes with the stuff? I guess I’ll just have to continue to toss that stuff as soon as it arrives. Not excited to have that chore for the rest of ever. At least there’s a recycle bin not far from the mailboxes.

On Wednesday, I met with my new ward’s bishop. Just a quick meet-n-greet, what callings did you have, what are your hobbies, where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from cotton-eye Joe? He spent some time emphasizing the importance of making friends and especially dating. Quite a bit of time in fact. I felt like exclaiming, like Hogarth Hughes…

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Kidding, totally kidding. But anyways..

One thing I hadn’t taken care of before heading out was obtaining a TV. I’d decided where on the wall to put one, and picked up a mounting kit, but hadn’t felt like deciding what specs to go for until after the move. I checked out Amazon, and finally settled on a unit. A couple days after purchase, I was experiencing buyer’s remorse, and kept looking for other units. I was mainly looking for one with built-in Chromecast support, so I could just run an Ethernet cord to it and stream whatever I wanted to watch. I found a more recent model that had that feature, and was only $X more expensive than what I’d selected earlier, where $X is exactly equal to what I’d have to spend to get the feature I was after in the first place (standalone Chromecast unit + Ethernet adapter).

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The TV I’d selected earlier hadn’t shipped yet, so I reached out to have them cancel it. It was then I noticed the seller was some outfit called “Great Prices Check It Out” – yeah, really filling me with confidence there. They got back to me within the hour and said it had been sent out on the truck that morning. Drat. I could refuse the shipment and just pay shipping costs, if I wanted, shipping costs being roughly $X from earlier. Well that’s a drag.

I decided to check out the local Costco to see the TVs they had on display. (I wonder if that was The Original Costco? Being in Kirkland and all…) I approached the door to head in, and an employee asked whether I had a card. “Nope, just looking around, then I’ll head over to get one.” Which was true, I figured I’d be needing one sooner or later. “Sorry, I can’t allow you to go in, company policy. They [the membership desk] can, but I can’t allow you in.” First time in my life I’ve ever gotten stopped like that, but from subsequent conversation it looks like I had just been getting lucky. Didn’t know that at the time, though, so I sourly stood in the long line to get a Costco card. Got almost done with that, when I noticed they’d spelled my name wrong. Took them another six or seven minutes to call head office to correct the mistake, then I was on my way, with 15 minutes till closing.

And lo and behold, there was a unit that ticked all my boxes, and was half the cost of every unit I’d been dealing with earlier. The other units had some (quite expensive) bells and whistles that I didn’t care about, which drove up the cost. I will pay the shipping costs of the other item and be happy while doing it. Getting this unit in my car was a bit tricky, though. The box made it in after I’d slid the two seats up forward, so I’d be driving home all scrunched up. However, the rear doors would not close all the way; they needed another couple inches, which I wasn’t gonna get. Either one or the other would be hanging open for the ride home. I was tempted to just wing it, (heh heh, wing it, cuz the door would be like a wing…) but I figured I’d check to see if I had any rope-like object in the car.

I came up with a set of jumper cables in the trunk. Rolled the right-rear door’s window down, wrapped one end of the cable around the door’s frame, and held the other tight over my shoulder while I drove home. Worked like a charm. I was driving along, wondering if I’d even needed to set this up, when I made my first sorta-fast left turn, and yep, that door would have flown wide open if I hadn’t had that cabling.

Got it safely home and unloaded. It was 10:30pm, but I wasn’t gonna let that stop me from getting this thing set up. I didn’t have batteries for my stud finder, and I wasn’t gonna drill any holes that late at night anyways, but I figured I could at least get it standing up on the legs it came with. After it was powered on it became apparent what it means to be a smart TV in 2016. The unit did come with a remote, but it was pretty barebones. No setting or menu buttons anywhere. What it did have was a “Link” button, which was meant to initialize pairing with an Android / iOS “SmartCast” app, which acts as the unit’s remote and also as a unified streaming content browser.

So I install the app and go to pair with it, and one of the required steps is to connect the unit to a wifi network. Well, like I said earlier, I have access to the xfinitywifi networks now. But, this doesn’t do me any good, because the TV isn’t going to be able to log in with my credentials. As soon as it connects and sees the login prompt, it’ll just fail over and think it doesn’t actually have Internet access.

Well, maybe it doesn’t need full Internet access to get pairing done. I can bust out my old router, set it to broadcast a wifi network, and that’ll give me something to give the TV to connect to. It’ll let the app and the TV talk to each other on the same local network, but it won’t give either the app or the TV access to the global Internet. Hopefully they don’t need it.

Now to name the network. Let’s use “AnderNet” for old-times’ sake, with the same password so I don’t have to think of a new one. Ok, network connection established. Step 3… firmware upgrade. Well, I’ll let it spin, it’ll eventually time out when it can’t reach the upgrade servers. And, yep, there it goes to step 4, “name this TV.”

Uh oh, error. Darn, it won’t let me continue with pairing. I’m guessing the app is expecting the TV to be on a current firmware version, and can’t communicate with whatever version it shipped with. Also, it wouldn’t even let me switch inputs to HDMI, so I was gonna have to finish this pairing process before I could even use the TV as a TV. I needed to get Internet access to this device, without a functional modem of my own. Time to channel my inner Mark Watney and science the crap out of this.

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How I felt finagling my way through this conundrum.I listened to most of this book on my way up here, so it’s been on my mind (and partly inspired the title of this blog).

The solution turned out to be a hidden little feature of Mac OS X. Under System Preferences → Sharing, you can enable “Internet Sharing”, which lets you bridge your Internet access from Ethernet to wifi, or vice versa. I could use this to pass my xfinitywifi-based Internet connection through my Ethernet jack, into the router, and from there broadcast that signal as a wifi network.

That was all well and good, but my corporate-issued laptop didn’t seem to like the idea of sharing its network. Fair enough, time to bust out my old MacBook that used to be my primary machine. Wow did it look dated. But it was still fully functional, and that’s what counted. Wifi connected.. patched through to Ethernet.. broadcasting from router.. and ta da! A full Internet-enabled wifi signal, no modem necessary. Take that, overly convoluted installation workflow!

With the app and the TV now happily talking with each other over my patched-up network, I was able to connect my laptop to it and start watching a bit of Fast Five, which I’d loaded up for the Cabin trip a couple weeks back but never ended up watching.

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Of course, it was only after reading the manual carefully that I realized I could have skipped the pairing step and gone straight to regular-TV mode… sigh. Whatever.

Well that was a lot more than any of you ever wanted to know about setting up a TV, but there you have it.

This homemade network worked well for a time, until Friday night, when I started getting a “your account is inactive” error message when authenticating to xfinitywifi. Weird. I called tech support the next day to figure it out. Turns out, since I hadn’t set up my modem in the week since I’d activated my account, they’d just gone ahead and shut it down. Well, I can’t very well activate it unless I get the cables in your package that you said were on their way, now can I? So I sucked it up and drove out to their store in Redmond, psyching myself up on the way. Turns out it was a good call, since the sales agent I’d spoken with at first had not offered me a nice first-time promotion good for 2 years, so at least something good came out of that.

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Huh, I don’t remember hearing about this film. Sounds fun.

While I was out I headed to a Saturday-night ward activity, movie night at the bishop’s place. His son worked in a movie theater, and snagged an old screen they were about to toss. 24′ x 12′, the thing is a monster. I brought the fixins for the trademarked Andersen popcorn, and it was a hit. The movie was Guardians of the Galaxy, which was fun but might’ve looked better if they hadn’t been driving their 27′ screen with a poor little projector being fed signal over S-Video. However, since the source was a DVD player anyways, and DVD resolution is about the same as S-Video’s maximum, there probably wasn’t a point to using HDMI unless they were gonna stream an HD version or play via Blu-ray.

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Headed back, pulled into my parking stall. Which is right next to this motorcycle which I haven’t seen moved once. Even noticed some spider webs on the handlebars. Along with some scrape marks all over it, and a cracked windshield. So maybe it’s just out of commission. Either way, it makes pulling in much easier.

Alright, time to get this modem all hooked up. And…

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I wonder what Andy Dwyer would make of this error.

So, back to the Comcast phone tree. “Please tell us, in your own words, what you’re calling about.” “Account activations.” “Your balance is $0. Press zero if you would like to speak with an agent.” *0* “I’m sorry, our accounts office is currently closed. Please try again later.” *headdesk*

I eventually reached their 24/7 tech support and they sorted it out (it sorta just fixed itself half-way through the call, neither I nor they were sure of what they did to fix it). So now my network is all properly modem-powered and no longer speed-throttled by the xfinitywifi bottleneck.

Now that my network was all set up, I could bring my Raspberry Pi out of storage and get it running again. Among other things, it preloads an hour’s worth of Pandora each night so I can sync it to my phone in the morning and not use any data when I’m listening out and about. Couldn’t get port forwarding to work properly though, so I stayed up puzzling over it until I dropped out at 2:30am.

On my way to Church the next morning I noticed an hour-old text from the first counselor, asking me to meet with the bishop a bit before Sacrament Meeting. Too late for that, I’d have to see them during one or another block. Second block was a combined EQ/RS meeting with an employment specialist. Not much there that was relevant for me.

I finally make it into a meeting with the first counselor. Hi, how’re you doing, some pleasantries, etcetera. “We appreciate the skills you’re bringing to the ward, and we want to extend to you a calling. Many callings are standard throughout the church, but this one’s a bit different.” Now, I’d heard this line in a past ward. What followed then was, “We need you to be a special-assignment ward clerk and help us organize our membership records processes”, and I’d gone on to do requirements gathering, programming a CSV-to-PDF generator, establish a Google Docs filing pipeline, and had a grand old time.

This time, the words were, “We would like you to be the Services & Activities co-chair.”

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So this committee is basically responsible for any activity that crosses organizational lines. EQ and RS want to do an activity together? Multi-ward shindig? We’re the guys. It’ll certainly be different than what I’ve been doing in the past. Like, soooooooo different. Stake technology specialist to ward activities co-chair, what a swap. Hope it works out though.

On the way back from church, it was my first taste of fall weather in Washington, with a light drizzle that I hear is just how it is for like all the time until winter, when it gets worse. Hi ho silver.

I passed a sign on the drive back: Higher Leaf, Marijuana Boutique. Very clever.

Congrats for making it to the end! Till next week.

Week One

Well I’m back in Kirkland, away from the land-o-plenty that is Google HQ. That place is huge. It was every easy to get turned around, since there weren’t any dang mountains to get aligned with. Oh well. Google makes it easy to get from place to place though, by leaving “gBikes” scattered all over the place. Employees can just walk up, grab a bike, and zoom off to wherever they need to. There’s a service that redistributes the bikes so they’re in the right place in the morning, picks up and repairs broken bikes, etc.

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All lined up in a row, ready for riding.

Apple had a similar challenge. I think they have roughly the same number of buildings, maybe a bit fewer, but Apple’s buildings were spread out and located willy-nilly. Apple solves the problem by using a huge network of shuttles constantly flitting between buildings. Since Google is so contiguous, they can mostly get by with just the bikes, or walking. Of course, there are more remote locations that do have shuttles, but the vast majority of Google buildings in Mountain View are within biking distance of each other.

Something you can glean from Google Maps satellite imagery, is that Google buildings are very eco-friendly, with many having full roofs of solar cells. The employees are similarly eco-friendly; I’ve never seen such a high concentration of Teslas in one area.

Speaking of cars, the traffic was a nightmare. My first day they had us arrive at 8am, and I ended up missing the traffic. Next day we were to arrive by 8:30, and I almost missed orientation start because I just had no idea how severe traffic got at that hour. On the other hand, when traffic was flowing it was a nice zippy 75mph.

So Monday morning I had breakfast at the hotel, potatoes and bacon. Funny thing, the hotel they put me up in is right across the street from Apple HQ, where I interned three years ago. Anyways, I arrived at the building at 7:50, and stood in a long line that got much longer after me, which ran outside the building. By my rough estimate about 250 “Nooglers” were starting that week. We got our badges, gave our ID for I-9 forms, and went to our orientation room where our computers were waiting for us. Got them all set up, sat through some orientation presentations, and that was basically all of the first day. Had a break for lunch, so I hopped on a bike and went off in a random direction till I ran into a cafe. Can’t remember what I had, but I’m sure it was good. (Oh wait, now I remember, a shrimp salad and flatbread pizza-like things.) Also stuck around for dinner on main campus. Lots of different stations there, got a few different things. Ate with a couple other Nooglers who had been at my table during orientation. They’d gone to school at Carnegie Mellon, and one had interned at Google in the past.

Oh, after the orientation had completed, but before dinner, our managers all came to meet us Nooglers and take us around to where we’d be working. Since I was going to be working in a remote office, my manager had arranged for someone from a sister team to meet up. We spent some time hunting down my car (remember how easy I said it was to get turned around?) and drove together to his building, some ways away. There were a few engineers around, but many had left for the day. We got to chatting with a couple of other engineers who were also doing privacy-related stuff. One of them had started nine months ago, after having graduated with a PhD from Oxford.

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Some serious cook-out gear.

Day 2 was pretty much more of the same. I didn’t feel like trying to find my way around campus to grab a quick breakfast before orientation began, so I just had the hotel’s breakfast again. Potatoes and sausage. Oh, during our orientation sessions, there was a Noogler in our group who’s quadriplegic. He’d type on his computer by using a long metal stem, the end of which he gripped with his teeth. His wife was there to help him get set up, but she couldn’t be in the room during orientation presentations, as they were strictly for full-time employees only. His chair was motorized, and allowed him to lean back as well. I was confused on how he was able to control the chair, until I matched his head movements up with something else that had confused me: an electronic cable coming down from his head rest. It seems that he was able to control his chair through controls embedded in his head rest, activated by pressing his head back against it in certain patterns. Very impressive stuff.

For lunch that day I met up with the same two Nooglers I’d had dinner with the previous day, plus five or six more. We went to some place close by that had noodles. Google helpfully color-codes all the items by how healthy they are. These were solid-red. I justified it by the fact that I’d only have access to these cafes for this week. I justified a lot of meal decisions this week through that logic.

We were introducing ourselves, and one of the Nooglers in our group, 22, had done some work at a startup after having graduated college at around 19. Soooo many smart people here. I hear from many people that Impostor Syndrome is very real here. Don’t doubt it one bit.

Dinner that day was a really good wrap, since there was only so much unhealthiness I could justify 🙂

The next morning a pattern began to emerge. For the last long while, my nightly schedule had me feeling a bit tired at 12am, and nodding off around 12:30 or 1:00, ready to start the next day at 10am or so. Now though, I was so dead tired at night, and earlier, that I found myself waking naturally around 6:30. That’s a bonus, I guess, it’ll make getting to work early easier.

Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were more classes, tailored more specifically based on our roles. The classes we software engineers attended were on how to get up and running in Google’s code base. On these days I didn’t have to be in class until 10am, so I figured I had time to find breakfast on campus somewhere. Ended up having an omelette, though I didn’t catch on until it was too late that I was supposed to indicate what stuff to add into it beyond the standard stuff, so it was pretty barebones. I also made use of their on-site laundry facilities before class; my clean reserves were getting pretty low.

For lunch I met up with the same team member who took me around on Monday afternoon. We walked over to the same place I had lunch the first day. This time it was sushi rolls and more of the salad. We talked about his team, his time at Google, what he was working on and all that fun stuff. He’s from Siberia I believe. While I was getting my food I felt something on my neck and brushed it off to the floor; turned out to be a spider. Maybe I get super powers in the near future?

It was around this time that I started my deal with the devil – Internet service with Comcast. They were the only providers, so I was kind of stuck with them. I wanted to arrange it so I’d have service in my apartment when I got back on the weekend. It didn’t start off that great; I gave them my address and the associate on the phone was confused at the error message the system was spitting back at her. She said she’d pass it on to confirm whether they serviced the area, and that was that for then.

Google campus is such a playground. There are so many little nooks and crannies of stuff to find and do. I found some toilets that had Toto “washlets” installed, the kind they use in Japan. I’ve always wanted to try one. There was also a full-scale replica of SpaceShipOne in one of the buildings.

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P.S. Toto.com’s “featured product” is some dual-flush toilet, but check out the bathroom they feature it in. Ermaghersh.

Wednesday night’s dinner was meant to be a two-fer; I saw a nearby place was serving sweet potato fries, and I got a craving. Nothing else on the menu looked appealing, so I figured I’d swing by, grab some fries, then head off somewhere else. But one of the items I thought was odd turned out to be awesome instead. Some kind of chicken with some green something-or-other sauce on top. I ended up just having those for dinner.

I was beginning to feel a little miffed that I wasn’t gonna be able to work in this part of Google, until I had some conversations with other Nooglers about rent. One had found a place where four people each paid $1500 per month; another had a two-man apartment where they split $3200 between themselves. Both were considered quite good deals by other Silicon Valley natives. Now I don’t feel so miffed that I’m not gonna be able to work in this part of Google.

On Thursday morning, I realized I’d misplaced a sock. I went back to the laundry room where I’d done laundry the day before, and there it was, on a shelf. Thanks, random Googler!

So, more classes. Thursday’s and Friday’s lectures all began with a very strict warning that the content was for Google full-timers only. I had a later start than usual, so breakfast was at the hotel. For lunch I arranged with the same group as Tuesday to go to this place called Baadal, an Indian restaurant where, unlike all other Google cafes, they actually serve customers like a regular restaurant. We had to make a reservation, it’s very popular and there were nine in our group. (One of the group members’ name was Jerome; I didn’t feel the need to mention that we’d named our car the same way.)

There were some fun science experiments in the building where we had classes. Here’s a video of one neat high-speed chain demo.

On Thursday, Google holds an all-hands meeting called TGIF, where Larry Page and/or Sergey Brin talk about what’s going on at the company. They take questions directly from the audience, which is pretty cool. It’s held in a large cafe on Google’s main campus area. People start lining up half an hour before doors open; luckily they reserve the first few rows for Nooglers.

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I hadn’t heard back from Comcast, so I tried calling again, and got a different but equally unhelpful response. I was asked to double-check the address, and get back to them. My apartment’s leasing office was closed that day, so I was out of luck.

There was food at TGIF, so for dinner I had another wrap, and watched some Googlers play volleyball.

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Thursday evening was my nostalgia trip. I wanted to head back and check out Apple campus, the satellite building I’d worked at, and the apartment complex I’d lived at.

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They tore out the swag shop, and put in a full-blown Apple store.
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Is this awkward? I hope it’s not awkward.

Next up I drove by my old office where I used to work. Now, remember how I mentioned that Google’s buildings were more contiguous so employees could walk or bike between them, but Apple’s buildings were more spread out and so they needed lots of shuttles? Well they’re not gonna have that problem for much longer. You might have read about the “spaceship” campus Apple’s building. When I worked there, they’d settled on the lot next door to my building as the construction site. Well they’re well underway, and it. is. huge.

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As for my humble old building, sadly it is now a hole in the ground.

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Next up, my old apartment complex. It was great driving past old restaurants I used to eat at.

Now, I have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of some kinds of men, as soon as they get a little law-enforcement authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to intimidate and threaten visitors of old living spaces who just want to head back for a bit of nostalgia. So while I saw my old place, I wasn’t about to take pictures of it; the pool would have to do.

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On the way back I backtracked, so I could snap some pics of even more buildings Apple is constructing near its spaceship.

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On Friday I realized that Mom would kill me if I came back with as few pictures as I had, so I began snapping pics of whatever publicly-available stuff I could find. I knew she’d want pics of the food, so I disguised my picture-taking by ostensibly reading a news article in landscape orientation, pondering closely, then surreptitiously switching to camera and snapping a pic. Breakfast was a properly-ordered omelette, with broccoli, mushrooms, asparagus, onions, and trout.

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Aw dang, I shouldn’t have checked out the recreation stuff behind Google main campus. Now I’m back to being kinda bummed that I won’t be working here.

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A reception area.
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Some trees growing between buildings.

Back when I worked at Apple, a fellow intern had a connection and knew a guy working at Google, and arranged for us to go visit him for lunch. Earlier in this week I happened to walk through the very cafe we’d eaten at, so I had to go back for one meal. Lunch was some meat-on-pasta thing. The cafe used to serve noodles, but I guess it changed in the interim.

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On the way back to class after lunch.
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The seating outside a small cafe in the building where we had classes. Never went there, always too busy.

Class let out early that day, so I decided to go exploring before heading to the airport.

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Hi!
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Garden seating.

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Click here for a panorama.
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Just a couple of Endless Pools nestled between buildings.
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A fun marble contraption in a game room.
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Grounds crew do a great job here.
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Filming something or other.
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Off for the weekend. These buses are massive.
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Bye!
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On my way out I passed the “Meeting Bike”, which groups can reserve and use to peddle around while they discuss things of great importance.

 

While I was enjoying the garden seating, I checked in with my apartment’s leasing office, and sure enough, pebkac all the way. (Problem Exists Between Keyboard And Chair.) I’d been giving Comcast the address of my leasing office, whereas my address was slightly different. I finally got things going there, and will have Internet service on Monday. I’ll be nice to you, Comcast, if you be nice to me. Please.

I’d heard that one of Google X’s self-driving cars was on display in the nearby Computer History Museum, so I thought I’d swing by there before heading off to the airport.

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Either the Cray Supercomputer or a good mock-up of it.
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Blurry pic, but I believe this is the guidance computer for a missile.
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A LIDAR unit that gives Google’s self-driving cars their eyes. They had it hooked into a screen that’d visualize what it was seeing in the room. Very psychedelic.
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Look ma, no hands!

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A very impressive setup; tilting around felt like being on a rollercoaster. Click here for video.
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Some more very old computers. Wouldn’t be a museum without them.

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A Tesla Supercharger Station just outside. Did I mention how many Teslas there were in the area? (Oh, and I saw a guy on a Segway, too.)
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A lonely gBike stranded by the freeway entrance. I’m sure someone will be by to rescue it.

 

 

As I drove up to the car rental return area, I recognized the parking lot where I’d left my car in order to fly back and see Hayden’s mission farewell address. Now he’s all grown up and in college and everything.

There were quite a few Nooglers on the flight back to Seattle. Ended up sitting next to one; we chatted for a bit, then I watched most of The Bourne Supremacy, which is better than I remember; I’d only ever watched it once because I remember not liking the shaky cam, but it didn’t bother me as much this time.

Also, thank goodness for Delta for stocking up their flights with Fresca. I’m gonna have to find a way to get my hands on some over here.

Landed at 9:30, got back to my apartment by 10:30. I hadn’t actually seen my apartment in its current state; when I left a week ago, my folks and I had just finished moving everything in, but it was still very much an explosion. (Mom was up for an unrelated vacation, Dad came up to keep me company and keep me alive on the drive up.) My awesome parents spent a good while giving it a work over, so when I came back it was in great shape. You’d think I’d just hit the sack, but there were a few electronic accessories they’d left the unboxing of to me, and I couldn’t very well leave those till morning, so I got to work on those and nodded off at around 1am. Old habits…

The next morning (today), I did a bit more organizing of random knick-nacks.

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Click here for a virtual look-around.

A prospective roommate came by to see the place, and we grabbed lunch afterwards. I think things could work out with him. I spent the early afternoon writing this and finishing up The Bourne Supremacy. At 4:00 or so I decided to bike out to the Google campus in Kirkland. It straddles a bike/walking trail that runs up and down Kirkland, and my apartment is very near the head of that trail.

I’d only gone about 50 feet from the exit of my apartment complex before I passed a tiny little walking trail that went off up a small hill. I didn’t remember seeing any sort of bike trail at this location on the maps. I checked again, and nope, nothing. I had to explore. At the top it hooked to the right, but there was a chain link gate standing ajar with what looked like a small ravine behind it. I wanted to get a better look, but all the plants were very prickly, and I had no chance in my shorts and t-shirt. I was about to head back down, until I noticed what kind of plants were causing me so much pain.

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Blackberries!!

They were everywhere! The trail went up some stairs then, so I decided to leave it for now, but I’ll definitely be back soon.

I made it to the trailhead, and started biking along. It’s not asphalt; basically like a very well-worn mountain trail. I looked to the side and… well it kinda puts my previous discovery under new light.

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(Those are blackberry bushes, btw.)

These bushes go for thousands of feet along the trail. Enough to make me some kind of -aholic. I guess if I have to jet off for work before breakfast I can always stock up on these on the way.

The rest of the trail was just amazing. I could see little side trails through more wooded areas. It’ll probably take me a while to explore it all. All up it took me around 20 minutes to get to campus, where I’m typing this now. (Remember, no Internet at the apartment.)

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On my way to the seat I’m sitting at now, I passed a mini-kitchen with something called “Talking Water”, a canned beverage that made many of the same claims that Fresca does (no caffeine, no sugar, etc.) “The original sparkling water”, it said. I thought, just maybe, this might be Washington’s version of Fresca. Well, it is kind of like Fresca, just without everything good and wonderful.

So, that’s it for Week One. I don’t think I’ll be having as much to talk about in subsequent weeks, so they should never be this long again, but we’ll see.

I feel so thankful to be here. And for my family – I’m gonna be sure to come back and seen them when I can. I already miss good old Alpine water. And them of course, them too.

Till next time.