(In which you get way more detail about the process of obtaining a video game console than you ever, ever wanted to know.)

The scene is the bedroom, early Monday morning. All Target retail stores in the area received fresh shipments of Nintendo Switch units the day prior, on Sunday. The hope is that at least one store will still have units left over.

8am rolls around, and the phone starts dialing. Nope, nope, nada, zilch. Disheartened, I prepare to mosey on down to work. When I notice that Target.com is claiming a store 25 minutes away, in a smaller town, has units in stock. Having been burned last week in a similar manner, I call over and ask pretty please if they might maybe have some units left. “Why yes, as of 20 minutes ago there were nine units left.”

I debate whether or not it’s worth it. Having spent all of 5 seconds on the conundrum, I zoom off in search of the prize. Thankfully I’m heading in the opposite direction as most people on the road at this time of day. Although, the prospect of sitting in all that traffic, empty handed, does not sound nice.

20 minutes later I’m in the Target parking lot. I prepare to exit the vehicle, patting my pocket to ensure I have my wallet. It’s not there. I left it by my bed.

Thankfully I keep my Bank of American Fork debit card in my backpack. It’s gotten me out of pickles like this before. I rush to the Electronics department, hunting for a rare attendant to badger. “Oh, yeah there’s like one unit left, they’re all up front.” <schoom>. (That’s the sound effect for “walk briskly to the front of the store”.) “Yes, certainly, I’ll be right over.” The cashier unlocks a cabinet, where I spy two units left.

She brings one over. And this is where the tale turns somewhat dour. It’s the variant with neon red+blue controllers, not the grey kind that are far more in demand. Makes all sorts of sense why these would be the only kind left in stock, but it will mean a rough clash with the rest of my A/V equipment. All in all not the end of the world, the unit is secured after all, but I know it’ll gnaw at me.

I check out anyways. A man lines up behind me and snags the very last one. I drive off to work semi-triumphantly. I end up not opening it that day, as Target’s return policy is very strict when it comes to electronics. My goal is to somehow obtain the grey variant, and return my neon one. I’m in no particular rush; the fact that I have a unit at all lets me put an upper bound on the amount of time I’ll need to wait to play the thing. If it turns out that supply chain issues mean units are impossible to come by for months, then I’ll break down and open mine up.

Tuesday rolls around, and a fellow Googler posts on an internal mailing list that he’s pre-ordered one too many grey-variant units, and wants to sell his off instead of returning it. Yes please. Grey unit secured, huzzah. The next day I pulled the same stunt to offload my neon-colored unit.

I could finally take a crack at the new Zelda game. And boy howdy, what a game. Its vast open world-ness creates ample opportunity for amazing little adventures. Like that time I engaged in a high-speed horse race deep into unknown territory, past monsters I had neither the desire nor ability to fight, just so I could catch and attempt to tame a beautiful red steed. (I failed on that last bit, I’ll have to try again when I’m leveled up; she was just too crotchety.)

Or that time I silently paraglided, in the dead of night, behind enemy lines so I could attempt to climb and activate a tower, dodging laser blasts from mecha-spiders as I clambered up its sheer face.

I’m sure there’ll be more, and I’ve only explored a tiny portion of the world so far. Let’s just say it’s definitely coming with me on the Europe trip. Though I kind of doubt I’ll be the one playing it..

All in all it’s been a much quieter week than last, which is a definite plus. Work’s picking up in pace a bit, got a tight deadline approaching that I’m fairly confident I’ll meet, but it’ll be interesting nonetheless.

Last night I attended an Ensign Symphony & Choir concert in Seattle with a friend. I’ve mentioned this group before, they’re like a lite version of MCO. Hillary Weeks, an LDS singer-songwriter, performed with them. While everyone sounded amazing, it was a tad too “pop” for me. Like, let the symphony symphonate. But that’s just nit-picking, it was a really nice performance.

Today I mostly Zelda’d, between running laundry and deep-cleaning my room.

I’m gonna have to leave the apartment soon and hunt down some grub, since a) I’ve eaten two bowls of cereal and a clementine today, and b) it’s Sunday tomorrow and I don’t really have any food here.

The title of this post comes from a very witty song a couple of friends have been putting together. I’ll leave you with a badly-angled recording of the current draft.